Covered Dreams

Let me start by saying I am a natural dreamer when it comes to sleeping. I've always had vivid dreams, and I always remember them.

I don't always know what influences my dreams but they are always very interesting, if not entertaining. Whenever I fall asleep, it's like going to the movie theater.

Emotions are something I know that plays a part in my dreams for sure. The last time that I cut my hair very short, confident that I enjoyed the carefree nature of "no hair ", I dreamt often of combing my hair which was very long in my dreams. Feelings of regret and longing.

Since I have been covering my hair nearly every day (I think I left the house 2 times uncovered out of sheer forgetfulness) I haven't had any particular emotions that I can think of(besides the times I forgot-I actually felt anxious for a while during my errand).

But day in and day out I wear it without much thought of feelings, at least on the conscious level.

So why then, did I have a dream about covering my hair? Lately I've dreamt about my hair here and there. I'm still growing my hair out since last cutting it over 2 years ago and I am very excited about reaching a certain length again. I'll dream about brushing it, braiding it, playing in it.

Today's dream involved my taking off my head wrap, a white bandana I'd worn several days earlier, and showing off my tiny braids and new color to a group of women coworkers in the break room.  

I remember running my fingers between the braids and feeling the smooth bumps of the intertwined locks of hair.

I remember the exaggerated movement of my head as I turned to each woman to speak to her, tilting and swaying turning my neck at every opportunity to shake the braids, allowing my hair to dance about my head and accentuating the length.

I remember that beautiful color and how beautiful it made me feel. Ironically, I haven't actually colored my hair in some time, but one of my IRL coworkers recently colored her locs a golden-red-auburn shade that looked AMAZING on her. So I can see how that detail may have crept into my psyche.

How strange that even in my dream, I felt a streak of vanity yet a sense of wrongdoing. When that particular dream segment began (I have several dreams nightly, this one was towards the end. Number 4 or 5) my head was covered.

There was nothing in particular that drew my attention to my head being covered, but I knew that it was. There was no reason for me to take off my scarf, but I did. No one reacted in any particular way about the removal of my scarf, yet I felt guilty.

As a matter of fact, every was pretty mundane until another coworker, a man, walked in. He was an okay looking guy. Nothing suspicious or ominous about him. He was smiling and casually walking into the room either to join the group or eat his lunch (I did mention it was break time at my job in the dream,right?)

A few things I should note:

1) I immediately felt a sense of…of unease? embarrassment? shock?;

2) I knew everyone else in the room but this man was not some I had ever met(significant? );

3) No one else reacted one way or another to the man entering, only me; and

4) I felt it imperative to cover my head. Like, there was a serious urge/fear/compulsion to put my scarf back on. So I did.

I snatched up my scarf from the break room table and slapped it on top of my head holding either side of the folded triangle corners over my ears with my left and right hands.

It being wrapped perfectly wasn't important. It being tied wasn't even important. Hiding all of my hair wasn't important (although the few braids dangling out from under the scarf did make me feel….exposed?). The only thing that was important was that my head was covered again.

I don't know what significance this man made. I already felt "wrong" about taking off my covering when it was just me and the other ladies. I just felt that much more "wrong" when he walked in. 

In either case, we exchanged pleasantries and he went about his business. There was no scandal, nothing else happened. I either woke up at that time or drifted off into another dream segment.

I should also note that there is nothing special about the scarf I was using. It's just a plain white scarf with black paisley design that I think I purchased at Walmart.

I didn't feel anything inherently "powerful " or "protective " about the scarf itself. It was just my covered head that made me feel more or less "right".

I'm 7 months into my yearlong spiritual journey/experiment of covering my head. I'll be writing more about my why I chose to do this and other experiences I've had since covering another time.

Should I have any further covered head dreams that I think bear any importance on my journey, I will be sure to share them here.